Well, the time has come to go back to wonderful, vibrant, tragic, musical Africa. I love visiting our programs and seeing how well our children do under the care of doctors, nurses and communities which care for them. It is wonderful to hear the singing and to feel the beat of voices as children spontaneously gather in a large group to sing a welcome.
There is also great sadness when i think of all the children we cannot help, those who suffer and die because there simply is not enough medicine for them all. Such gorgeous children and so much need. I always leave wishing we could do more, that we had all the funding in the world so that every single one of those beautiful children would have a chance.
So, an unusual thing ends up happening inside of me. I pray I will return with a whole heart, not the broken heart with which I usually carry around in me. I want to be strong, to endure and to carry on without the burden of caring too much. Yet, I pray that my heart will be broken, so that I never stop caring and so that our work will continue, no matter how difficult it may get. I want to fight for these kids, to give them hope. So, a splitting in my heart is inevitable and all I can do is to let the feeling continue, as it has for a few years now.
These days before the trip, there is so much to do and I am too busy...Climb Up So Kids Can Grow Up takes up a lot of my time, office work, finding new donors, thanking others, writing, reports, packing, playing with Julia...it is all coming together in a ball of activity which doesn't seem to cease for long these days. Soon, though, I'll be on a plane, crossing the ocean to visit some incredible little children who are alive due to the generosity of others. And, I can't wait!